Day 2... I can see this is going to get harder and harder.

1/10/12  He woke up in good spirits.  Had a good night.  Came home took his Zofran (nausea medication) he ate dinner, and we relaxed on the couch till bed.  He slept well expect for he woke up at 2am and had a hard time falling back to sleep.

We arrived at the Raab Clinic for our 9am appointment.  He was called back, weight was taken (174 3+lbs from yesterday) blood pressure when we arrived was elevated (156/64) but once in the chair and comfortable it lowered (123/54) He had a hard time with a medication that was pushed threw the IV, he said it hurt, we later found out this was Benadryl.  He quickly became tired, so I left for work.  He kicked me out today.  Told me I would be better off busy at work, then sitting there staring at him.  (I think he knew Dr.V was in the office and I stress over not being there when he is.)   I checked on him at 1pm and he was super tired and antsy.  He doesn't do well sitting still for so long.  Luis hung the last bag of flush and I went back to work to finish up.  Right now as I type... he is fast asleep on the couch.  I hate seeing him like this.

I am not sure what I would do without my work gang.  They definitely help me get through the day.

** I want to say thank you for all of you who are sending us letters and messages and quick posts on FB and here.  They have made both of us smile!  Keep them coming.  I will try to get back to everyone.  I will also be printing them out for our Cancer Journey Scrapbook.

Day 1

1/9/12 Today was day 1 of chemo treatment for Jason.
We arrived on time and got called back.
Weighted in (171.6),  blood pressure was good and we sat and waited for the dr.
When he came in, he had that "not happy look" on his face.
 He told us that Jason's scans that he had done the last weekend in December came back with spots in his lungs.  They looked at the scans done in October and compared them to Decembers and they are certain that the cancer has now spread.  What that means for Jason is a longer treatment rounds.
 We originally were set up to have 2 cycles of 28 days and now we are having 4 cycles.
 UGH!  Not the news we wanted.

                       Jason completed day one with a smile on his face.

  We played Uno and Gin Rummy. Watched TV & played on the iPad.

       Tomorrow we go back for his long day.

Life is good...

when you don't look forward. 


I am looking at just today.  Taking each day as they come.  Today, life is good.  Okay, so maybe I am looking a little ahead.  Cooking & Preparing for the week ahead.  Cooking meals ahead, something I never do.  I love to cook, it is known in our house as mommy and daddy time.  I come home from work, start dinner, Jay sits at the bar, we have great conversation about the day or whatever seems to be the subject, most time enjoy a cold glass of wine/beer.  It is our time.  I look forward to it.  So cooking ahead is weird for me.  Ethan & Jocelyn are confused as what is for dinner tonight.... haha...I didn't even think of what we are eating tonight.  

I am looking forward to my sister Veronica and her beautiful little family to come down this weekend... I love any chance I get to catch up with them and of course snuggle with my lil ladybug Aubrey Ann.  Also having the Ace's down on Saturday.  Might as well get all our peeps to visit now before "surgery" week arrives.  That is what I am NOT looking forward too.  We go this Thursday to Chapel Hill to meet with the cancer board....  we find out the next steps in the game.  We both hope surgery can be soon, that means more healing time before the "surprise" trip for the kids.  


On the menu:

• Stuffed Peppers
• Home-made Chicken Noodle Soup (sandwiches will be made that night)
• Chicken enchiladas
• Lasagna 

How the cookie crumbles in our world....

It's weird to think I always thought it would be me that would get sick or injured. It's like I feel better when it's me, I don't like someone I love hurting.

Sept: It all started right before Jason's birthday. He felt a heaviness and tenderness in his testicle. He put it off thinking it was nothing and had an epic birthday week and went to a conference for work. When he got back he finally listened to me and went to the doctors. (9/23) He has to see a military doctor, who didn't like what he saw and set him up for ultrasound. The soonest they could see him was the end of October! After talking with his senior chief he called back and asked for the ultrasound to be scheduled sooner due to the fact it was to rule out cancer, Jason called back and asked to have it sooner. They graciously fit him in on Oct. 4th.

Oct.4th We arrived early, because we were nervous. Jason was called back and I sat forever for him to come out into the waiting room. When he finally did, he said he had to go see the “sick call” doctor to be referred out. The radiologist could rule out everything (hydrocele, cystocele, hernia) Over to sick call we went, they made us an appointment for later in the afternoon. That was fun waiting to see what was going on. Our appointment was @2:30. When we arrived back there, Jason was getting his vitals and I saw the doctor come out and ask if “Bitler” checked in yet. The guy at the desk said oh so nicely “Yes but you have people ahead of him” and she quickly answered “I don’t care, he is 1st” We were then quickly escorted back to her office. We were told that Jason was being referred out to a local Urology Surgeon (Dr. Klose) and they had been working on getting him the soonest appointment. She told us that they thought it was testicular cancer and the best place for him to be was with Dr. Klose. Our appointment was Oct. 5 @2:30.

Oct.5th We got to Dr. Klose’s office and filled out the paperwork, and of course being silly and making the receptionist laugh at us. Jason wanted to check the box that said he had erectile disfunction so he could get meds... I was totally embarrassed. When we went into the exam room, Dr. Klose showed us the ultrasound pictures and explained what he saw, then he did an exam (where I politely asked to step out to give Jason some privacy) Dr. Klose came out and got me when he was done, and told us that he would guarantee that it was cancer, from the finding of the ultrasound and the exam. With testicular cancer there is 2 groups. Seminoma or All the others. You want it to be Seminoma. With that it is cut and dry surgery and scans and poof. They scheduled his surgery for Oct. 10th. (Oh.My.God. is this shit really happening….)

Oct.10th Surgery day. We got up bright and early in anticipation of this not so fun event that awaited us. We had to be at the hospital at 6:45am. Jason was called back and I had to stay in the waiting room, quiet, cold, and alone.

The door opened and out popped a face I knew. One of the drs that I work for came out to sit with me while he was being prepped. Thank you Dr. Mac. You distracted me!! We talked and joked about things. Next I was called in to sit with him before he was taken back. I hated seeing him laying there scared and nervous! The nurses came by and checked him in, and then Dr. Klose came in and checked on him as well. He told me that he would see me after the surgery and tell me what they found in the lab. The idea was for him to walk it down to the lab and cut it open to tell if it was cancer or not. We wouldn’t know the final pathology for at least 10 days.

They wheeled him away… this was the moment I dreaded.

I sat in the waiting room, again. Every time the door opened, or someone came out of the elevator I looked over like it was going to be Jason walking thru. The surgery door opened and out walked another dr that I work for. Dr. D! I said “what are you doing here” she said “I came to keep you company” We talked and talked and laughed. I really can’t say thank you enough to her. She waited around with me to almost the end but had to leave because she had a patient waiting for her at the office. So sweet, little Dr. D, got me a drink and told me to text her after Dr. Klose came and told me the finding. She left. There I sat alone again. (I know boo hoo, right.) All of a sudden the door flew open and in came Dr. D and at the same time the surgery door open and Dr. Klose was standing there…. She saw him and ran back up to sit with me.

Dr. Klose said the patient was doing well, and that it was indeed cancer. That they were thinking it was Seminoma. We talked about some things and I got all the directions for his post op. We had to see him for his follow up on the 19th.

Oct. 19 Well this visit didn’t go as planned. Dr. Klose told us that it wasn’t Seminoma and that it was called Embryonal Carcinoma. Which means he now has to be referred out to UNC Chapel Hill. He will undergo another surgery to remove all lymph nodes in his pelvic area. Why you ask, because the type of cancer it is doesn’t start in the testicle, it starts to grow in the lymph nodes. He did have a cat scan of his chest and abdomen done and they came out clear but because this grows microscopic, they want to remove them so it doesn’t have a chance of growing again and somewhere else. As of right now Jason is 70% clear of cancer. The remaining 30% that he isn’t and all the finding of the pathology from the mass they raised the stakes. He also had what he called an antenna which ended up being a nodule that was getting ready to spread and grow.

Yup.. that was long. Sorry. We go to UNC Chapel Hill on the 10th to meet with Cancer Board to find out our next steps in the game…

Happy Mother's Day

Went to a mothers day party at peanuts school.