Just some ramblings....

How fast has summer gone...

it bothers me.. I can't believe its August already, in ways I am excited for things that are coming up but on the other hand... its all going too quick.

summer is "our" time. Our time to sit on the beach with great friends, sit by the fire and talk about our family and our goals. Laugh, and have a really good time. Not saying that winter is all bad nights and boring days, its just we all seem to be have more time together in the summer and of course this being our last summer on Nantucket, it saddens me. Of course...Ethan has the best of friends, along w/ me and Jay. Everyone loves Jocelyn and helps with her all the time. Makes me think how much I am going to miss this lil island we call HOME.

I love Jersey but I feel like sometimes its not home anymore. I mean I know in my heart its home but when everything on the home front isn't right...do you really want to call it home? Not so much, my family, I feel like it;s falling apart right in front of my eyes. Kids living at home, that hated home months ago, others not living at home that need to be, others think they can do better w/ out the family but sometimes cant.... is it my fault for leaving and it all going to hell. Is it my fault for getting out and leaving them behind... not sure. I am sorry if it is.. I love them with every breathe I take but I feel like its out of my hands now. No one talks anymore. Everyone lies.

To one of them: Go home...make up ... just suck it up and do good this yr, I know you can. I need you too. If you fail, I fail. and baby we don't fail! No matter what or who thinks we do. I love you more then you know... and I am always here, and if it gets too rough, call me...we can get threw this.

To the others: I am sorry that I am not there to bail you out... but you can get out of this shit yourself... I have taught you well. Sweet talk one and agree with the other. You know that they are "always" right. They are ours and there is NO changing this... they do love us and they do everything for us.

To one: you need to stop playing the field with all of "them" Choice who you want in your life...do NOT have all because one will get hurt, and the one that you played against will be there to clean it up....again.

My do we have to be this way....

be free. live your life. no matter how hard it is going to be. We will be fine. It's gonna hurt when it heals too. It'll all get better in time. And even though I really love you. I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to. It'll all get better in time.

Ree: thanks so much for always letting me cry. you are my world. since we were little you never judged me or my family. and I can't say thank you enough. you mean so much to me and my family. how many nights did I sleep on your couch. you never pushed me away or told me no. always let me go. and figure shit out on my own. but always were there to catch me when I fell. love for a friend, cousin, sister is what I have for you. its greater then most.

Less then 2 months!!

I am so excited ... less then 2 months until w/ the Cottrell's!!

Does it get any better then a week w/ your best friend/cousin and her family in DISNEY? I don't think so. Plus J's parents are going to try to meet us while we are there...hopefully we can spend the day together and have dinner and just have fun and relax!

YEAH!

Even after the mess with both of our airlines, and me loosing our tickets... everything is calm and will be fun!!!